Wednesday, March 22, 2006


OK - not necessarily a relevant report, but I had to share a glorious moment.

Isabelle Mercier.

Originally I thought she was quite atttractive, but I think there lurks a manipulative skank behind the 'pretty poker' facade. I've interviewed her a few times, and know her on a 'nodding at each other and smiling' basis. However, I found myself in a tournament in Monte Carlo with her to my immediate right. With her 'No Mercy' moniker, agression was very much on the cards, so - as I would with any hyper-agressive muppet - the plan is to allow her to steal lots of little blinds, and odds-and-sods hands, and then - when i get a hand - milk her back for everything she's nabbed, with interest.

I just seemed to keep getting involved in one-on-ones with her (and not in a naked good way, sadly) but no one else at the table was getting too involved, simply because i don't think they thought they could go up against her with anything other than aces or they'd lose their bottle.

Blinds are 50/100. She raises pre-flop to 250, I call with poket nines. Flop comes 9-2-5 which must look good to her pocket kings, because she does one of her 'special' chip flips, and dumps 500 into the pot and stares at me. I do a little bit of acting, a little "hmm"-ing, and then look at her chips. She has 650 left, so 1150 to me if i want to get her all-in. I raise her everything she has and she looks at me and smiles. "I think you might not like this" and very proudly plumps her kings down. "That's nice dear" I offer as I show her my set of nines. She starts squirming and sitting on her feet. Strange girl. No help comes and she is just bursting with reasons why she was so right to do what she did.

I'm already bored of my story. But you get the point. Note to self: Don't be an arrogant twat. Ever.

Monday, March 13, 2006


If there's one thing I've learnt from talking to the guys and gals that are already playing online poker for a living, it's that rakeback should be a big part of your consideration when selecting a 'home' for all your dosh.

Up until now the only addition to my actual winnings have been fabulous 'loyalty points'. You might not be surprised to hear that so far I nearly have enough points to buy 1/9th of a shite baseball cap. Yehaw.

I decided to contact all the big sites, essentially just saying that I plan to start playing seriously, and asking why I should give them my rake. I guess it's not too surprising to find that the big boys didn't want to offer me anything; suggesting that just being allowed to play on Poker Stars should be enough to make me happy. Others suggested I contact them after a month of playing "as i mean to go on" so that they can appraise my play. Yeah, and get a month's worth of dosh for free. Do I look like Johnny Bananas.

Ultimately I found a bunch of guys that broker rakeback deals. Just to name-check the guys that have been most helpful: and

So... after much deliberation, I'm down to Littlewoods or William Hill. I think.

More soon.