Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Devilfish pronounced ‘Dead on the Inside’

Emergency medical technicians admitted today that they were two years too late to resuscitate David ‘Devilfish’ Ulliott, who had apparently succumbed to a long battle with crippling disappointment.

After unsuccessful attempts to revive Ulliott’s soul with the promise of half an hour in the back of a limo with Shannon Elizabeth and Vanessa Rousso, Devilfish’s was pronounced dead on the inside at the scene.

Paramedic, Kevin Baxter said: “If we could have got to him before the Premier League began we might have had a chance. No one can withstand that kind of emotional trauma.”

Ulliott’s soul is survived by his own hollow shell, which is expected to sleepwalk through a meaningless existence for the next thirty years.

1 comment:

swampsterjy said...

who said satire was dead? Loving your work Sir.