Gloat!

OK - not necessarily a relevant report, but I had to share a glorious moment.

Isabelle Mercier.

Originally I thought she was quite atttractive, but I think there lurks a manipulative skank behind the 'pretty poker' facade. I've interviewed her a few times, and know her on a 'nodding at each other and smiling' basis. However, I found myself in a tournament in Monte Carlo with her to my immediate right. With her 'No Mercy' moniker, agression was very much on the cards, so - as I would with any hyper-agressive muppet - the plan is to allow her to steal lots of little blinds, and odds-and-sods hands, and then - when i get a hand - milk her back for everything she's nabbed, with interest.

I just seemed to keep getting involved in one-on-ones with her (and not in a naked good way, sadly) but no one else at the table was getting too involved, simply because i don't think they thought they could go up against her with anything other than aces or they'd lose their bottle.

Blinds are 50/100. She raises pre-flop to 250, I call with poket nines. Flop comes 9-2-5 which must look good to her pocket kings, because she does one of her 'special' chip flips, and dumps 500 into the pot and stares at me. I do a little bit of acting, a little "hmm"-ing, and then look at her chips. She has 650 left, so 1150 to me if i want to get her all-in. I raise her everything she has and she looks at me and smiles. "I think you might not like this" and very proudly plumps her kings down. "That's nice dear" I offer as I show her my set of nines. She starts squirming and sitting on her feet. Strange girl. No help comes and she is just bursting with reasons why she was so right to do what she did.

I'm already bored of my story. But you get the point. Note to self: Don't be an arrogant twat. Ever.

Rakeback

If there's one thing I've learnt from talking to the guys and gals that are already playing online poker for a living, it's that rakeback should be a big part of your consideration when selecting a 'home' for all your dosh.

Up until now the only addition to my actual winnings have been fabulous 'loyalty points'. You might not be surprised to hear that so far I nearly have enough points to buy 1/9th of a shite baseball cap. Yehaw.

I decided to contact all the big sites, essentially just saying that I plan to start playing seriously, and asking why I should give them my rake. I guess it's not too surprising to find that the big boys didn't want to offer me anything; suggesting that just being allowed to play on Poker Stars should be enough to make me happy. Others suggested I contact them after a month of playing "as i mean to go on" so that they can appraise my play. Yeah, and get a month's worth of dosh for free. Do I look like Johnny Bananas.

Ultimately I found a bunch of guys that broker rakeback deals. Just to name-check the guys that have been most helpful: www.fishypoker.com and www.rakebackdeals.co.uk

So... after much deliberation, I'm down to Littlewoods or William Hill. I think.

More soon.

Preparation H

As previously mentioned, this blog is here to record journeys. Not necessarily only the journeys of others; just journeys. Initially the plan was to use this as a place for me to post the stories too grim or rude to be used in any of my published writing - an idea that became even more tempting once I started traveling more with the young poker players that are tearing up the scene right now (on and off the tables). However, the more I travel with them, the more I realise that I want to be one of them! I'm not too old to tear it up, and I certainly think I'm good enough to take them on over a table... so what next?

The first course of action - preparation and research.

First up is to work out just how much money I have spread around the 12 different poker clients that I somehow seem to have ended up donating to, and consolidate this as my starting bankroll.
Secondly I need to work out who is going to offer me the best deal to pump this bankroll.

Wish me luck.

And so the journey begins

Welcome.

I'm no stranger to writing, but I'm new to writing without some editor then removing all the swearing and juicy bits. I'm the poker columnist for FLUSH, as well as a regular contributor to POKER PLAYER, COOL PLAYER and the official WPT magazine. If you're the sort of sad git that likes to watch obscure late-night TV you might also see me presenting or commentating on the award-winning (ahem) POKER NIGHT LIVE.

My involvement in poker stretches back some ten years, but it's only in the last six months that it's become my life. I travel where the cards take me, participating in and reporting on some of the great tournaments. I also get to meet and travel with a host of great and not-so-great poker pros and wannabies.

Here, in this blog, we will see what trouble we can get into.

Welcome again...